I could be back.

If you read “About Me”, you will come across this line:

And she misses acting on stage and the kind of attention audiences gave while she portrays a different character.
If there’s a chance and time permits, she hopes to do it all over again.

Yes.

The chance and time is here.

I could be back on the stage;
It’s one of those thing that could make me laugh, tear, mad, nervous, frustrated and proud.
Most importantly, I’m able to do this again with the same group of friends who have walked this tedious path with me.

Damm. I will be busy with rehearsals this december then.
But I’m sure I’ll be happy being this busy.

If you haven’t already know why I love the stage so much, read this.

Post-exam activities

Just finished one of the toughest essay in the world, so here am I!

Top TEN things I want to do during my one month break.

1. Retail Therapy:
Want to buy a pair of bling bling flats. Want to shop till I dropped.

2. Swimming/Gymming/Cycling/Kite-flying

3. Get 8 hours of sleep everyday

4. Read a book or two.
(The sister’s keeper & my 散文集)

5. Hang out with friends. Get in touch with old friends.
(Damm lots of activities like mini games day, sports day, ktv, shopping etc!)

6. Drink.
(& nt sure why I speak of drinking, I think of my 八人帮. )

7. Facial and hair trim
(Not been to any facials for 2 months already and no hair trim for 8 months! )

8. Get out of Spore with Prawn. Hopefully Genting or Cameron highland. (Somewhere COLD).

9. Clear my desk and wardrobe.

10. Plan Prawn’s 20th birthday!
(Hopefully a memorable one before he “migrate” to Home Team Academy. His army days will be the 4th big obstacle that we are going to go through.)

-

Now just thinking of it makes me want to end my semseter quick.
I bet it’ll be so much fun!

Everyone needs a break

Come on. Give me a break. I’m currently typing this with a can of orange juice beside me.
^^

Just handed in one of my chinese essay, and I’m left with 2 more essays!! Hiya...why is it so tough?! Seriously think I need a getaway, to wherever in the world except Singapore. I wish I can just book a ticket and fly. Just escape from everything. Everyday I woke up, I wish it was the end of sem 1. My schedule is like so packed!!! And I do not have much time left before I sit for my exams.
Think the school is trying to kill us?

Anw, I need a break. And I’m here for a short fashion post! |
Recently, I found myself in love with all the blings blings, esp BLACK SEQUINS!
They are so shimmery hot!

Have not gotten any sequins dress/top though I saw a few pretty pieces and am tempted to get it. Well, to stop myself from thinking too much about it, I got myself a cheap cheap sequins hairband instead.

Want to go for a retail therapy and swimming session in my holidays!!
Then, all the sequins shoes/top will come to mama.  ^^

Read Juice Magazine and saw this stunning sequin dress:

Sequin dress – $113 from topshop
Pearl Choker Necklace & Vintage Bracelet $49 each from Granny’s day out
Shoes, stylist’s own.  (Resembles Dr Martens)

She totally rocks that look!

Right, I need to get back to my essay writing.

Love happens for no reason

Yesterday Prawn and I were talking about the days when we first met and the times when we went dating not as a couple yet. I asked Prawn to guess why was I attracted to him and his guesses were:

1. That I’m funny?
- Yes. But that’s totally not the main point.

2. That I sang well?
- No. no. no.Talents are bonus but not necessary. If that’s the case, I’d have fallen for many singers already.

3. That I pay for every meal?
- I like generous guys who will initiate to pay for his date’s meals no matter how I refused. But nope, that’s not it.

I like him because he was caring enough, helping me while crossing the road and ensuring me that I’ll not trip over the steps in the dark cinema. I like him because he do not make me feel that he’s trying to be a man too much. I’m normally an independent and strong girl in front of many others. But in front of him, I just turned soft and just want to be a little girl instead. Not sure why, but clearly, chemical X is at work.

Girls always have a reason to fall in love with that particular guy.
And girls always expect a reason from the guys for falling in love with them.

So, like many other girls who are just being annoying, I asked Prawn:
Why did you fall in love with me then?

And he told me this: There’s no reason. I just did.

But how can that be possible right?? Everything happens because of a reason. How can things happen because it happen? Then, he told me about the email which he once read:

Girl and boy fell in love with each other but one day, girl met with an accident and she was not only disfigured, but her hearing was affected as well.
Boy did not leave girl and continue to stay by her side, taking care of her.
Girl asked the same question I did to boy, “Why did you fall in love with me?”
Boy answered, “There’s no reason.”
“Surely there must be a reason. Right?”

“No reason. If I like you because you are pretty, then I wouldn’t be here taking care of you anymore. If I like you because of your voice, then I’d have left you. If I love you because of who you are before, then I’d not be here because clearly, this accident have changed you.”

Love cannot be explained. Humans do change and as time goes, their personality might not be the same as before. But you will still love him all the same.
And once your heart has given to someone, it is hard to take it back anymore. Even when everything ended, a piece of him will still be stuck with you forever, and vice versa.

Bakerzin

This was my main course in the set lunch I ordered a few days ago.
Macaroni with Clams in tomato brooth.
Comes with corn soup, toasted bread and a drink.
I like it.

P/S: Changed my theme again! Fickle minded me. Will revamp more abit when I seriously have nothing to do!
And I think I caught a cold.  :’(

No mood to do any work but I should get going.

And lastly,

This lacey blouse is one of the rare treasure I found in my sister’s wardrobe.

Happy Halloween Everyone!
^^

Who am I?

It’s the projects/assignments/exams period!!!
And I’m striving hard to complete my remaining projects + assignments as well!
For those of you who are in the same shoes as me, strive on!!! AND don’t worry.

FUN IS AWAITING US AFTER ALL THESE!
I promise myself that I will go all out to enjoy myself in the coming holiday! But first of all, I need to be good and do my work. ^^
Motivation plsss!

-

You know I love compliments alot! Just recently, I’ve received compliments from a few people;  a neighbour which I’ve not seen for 4865 years commenting that I look so pretty now, a stranger telling me that my perm is so cute and curly which makes me look like a doll, project mates asking me how I always manage to look good and presentable in school and how much they love my fashion sense. Looks aside, there are also people telling me how they think that 我很有思想，that I have my own set of views which are very often different from many typical people, that they think that I’m a special girl? Well, I don’t know about that?

No doubt, it always makes me happy when I receive sincere praises like this. You don’t have to agree with everything said above cos it’s nt like I’m always getting it. Frankly speaking, I have a low self-esteem and not really confident like what many people think I am. It could perhaps be due to my childhood days when the judgemental adults put me down, and not giving me the kind of treament a child should get.
But through these years, I’ve grown out of it. I’ve decided to do something about it so that I can enjoy the privelliges a normal girl could get. I enjoy dolling up at times because I feel much more confident about myself this way?

I don’t socialise with people much & I’m pretty surprise that people could make that judgement of me. I tend to be quiet, or known as aloof by people who don’t know me. I can’t hold conversations with people whom I’m not close with when in a group outing. I just don’t warm up that fast. But sometimes it amazes me how I could carry off speech infront of thousand audiences well, how I could kick up conversations with the PRs and celebrities when I need to and how I can just not be myself because of work. It’s interestingly funny.

I’m an introvert but the kind of careers which I’m interested in often require me to be an extrovert.
Weird huh? Even so, everyone’s telling me these career options are suitable for me. Lead me to thinking that one’s capablity may not be judged according to their personality. They could be 2 totally different people during and after work. Then I remembered one of my primary sch teacher wanted to nominate me to be a prefect but later on decided not to cos I’m a quiet girl. If I was given a chance, I could perhaps prove her wrong? (Not that I want to be a prefect that much also.)

But whichever my personality is, I know people who love me, love me because I’m made this way.

Dreamt of broken tooth

Yesterday I dreamt that one of my tooth was broken. I was chewing hard on nothing, but my tooth. And the tooth broke into half as a result.
It’s been a long time since I last remembered any dream but this one was so vivid because I could literally feel the pain of the tooth being broken. You know how tooth normally came off in one whole good piece, but mine actually broke into half instead. And it was at a position visible to the eyes. Without that tooth, I won’t be able to look good smiling anymore. And the funny thing was I knew I was chewing in the dream, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing so. The more I tried to stop, the faster my chewing speed went.

And when the chewing stopped finally, my tooth was broken already.
It was terrifying.

I woke up, checked that my teeth were still in place with my tongue, before I could go back to sleep peacefully again.

So I went to google what does dreaming of broken tooth means
and here are some perceptions:

1. False or disembodied teeth portray the breakdown of an important relationship in the dreamer’s life—not necessarily a romantic one.

2. Broken or decayed teeth imply the need for repair in some department of the dreamer’s life. Look to other symbols in the dream to judge which one.

3. Reflects your anxiety over appearance or the lose of power.

And I found somebody having the same dream as me! She seeked for help in a column (something like kelly says), and the response given was:

Well, if you’re a guy the dream could mean you’re feeling a little woozy these days. Perhaps you haven’t picked up the gauntlet someone threw down.  Perhaps you’re afraid of losing your job or you’re broke and/or in debt.  That’ll take the bite out of life won’t it?

If you’re a woman … If you’re a woman then you may have some of the same fears as a guy plus issues of your biological clock ticking, not being able to get pregnant, want a child but aren’t even dating, feeling not too sexy. Relationship just ended would fit both genders too.

Whatever the situation, just ask yourself where or why do I feel weakest, most helpless, in my life right now?

True? Yes? No?

Well, it could also be because I’m grinding my teeth too much in my sleep. And now, I kept thinking that there’s something wrong with my teeth! Paranoid yes. Whatever it is, losing a tooth is very scary! I hope I don’t dream about this again.

Sinful Delight

It was a stay-home day. Went over to find Prawn and we decided to make chocolate fondue!
After which, we bought DVD home to watch and enjoyed being in each other’s arms.
It was a well-spent quality time that we didn’t have for a long time.
Kept smiling the whole day. ^^

Simple things like this can make me happy the whole day.

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone.

Get back on your feet, and think of me.
My love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

I’m holding onto him tightly.

Past words

Some interesting quotes/phrases found in my private blog.

这个世界本来就是一种恶性循环。没得改变的。因为卑鄙是卑鄙者的通行证。

The world is a vicious cycle. It cannot be changed. What goes around comes around.

人生总是充满了未知数。尽管从头开始早已为我的人生定下目标，计划该走的方向，但又有谁会知道最终的结局是什么呢？

There’s too much questions about one’s future. Nobody will know what will happen even when the road’s already set or laid for us.

如果要去处心中的郁闷, 那首先我必须学会如何独立。如何没有任何杂念也能够活得精彩。

To be happy once again, I need to learn how to be independent; how not to think too much about things and live an exciting life.

唯有出国留学，你才能够专心的去做你该做的事；哪怕是读书也好，玩乐也好，你都能够尽心尽力地去享受一番。

Only by going abroad to study, will you be able to concentrate on doing the things you have or want to do; be it studying or playing. You will be able to go all out and enjoy yourself.

爱情只不过是心里的舍不得，只不过是心里的害怕； 害怕少了见面和沟通，我会失去原有的幸福滋味。我会变得空虚。

亲情是心里的担心，害怕和无助。我的家人永远都是我的家人，不管我这么一走会有多久，我的家门始终会为我而开。

Love is only a moment of unbearable pain and fear; fear that without communication, I would lose the feeling of being blissful temporary. However, kinship is a permanent feeling of worry, fear and helplessness. My family will always open a door for me no matter how long I’m away for.

和爱人一起共进晚餐，然后手牵手一同散步，玩闹，

然后再一同搭巴士回家，聊天 。。。

这就是简单的幸福滋味。

To be able to dine with my lover, hold his hands, take a walk,  have fun together, go home together, is a simple yet blissful feeling.

—-

Didn’t know I have so much things write in the past. Sometimes it’s good to read back your past entries to understand yourself even better.

雨季

My teacher was going through 《梅雨之夕》during literature class.
Something which I read when I was about 18 years old. And I remembered writing something after reading this.
Decided to dig it out and here it is:

Feelings written about the rain (in Chinese) when I was 18.