Just saw this blog post from my favourite youtube guru Bubz Beauty:
On how she felt pressurized nowadays that making a video is no longer that carefree and exciting as before.
Youtube was a place for me to have fun and share fun ideas. Now it has famously become a platform for opportunities. Without me even expecting this, it has become a career for me as well because it provides an income now. I enjoy Youtube a lot because I get to learn so much and become inspired by you all but… it has now become a job right? Mind you, I’m not complaining because if this is a job- this is my dream job. You kidding? I’m paid to do something I love? But suddenly the expectations of having to have a video up every 5-6 days has begun to pressurize me. Lately, I started to feel tired and uninspired. I started to think “What happened to the days when I used to wake up with an video idea and bursted with excitement to film?”. These days I would wake up and have a brain pickle from trying to think of ideas and inspirations. I can’t really describe this “expectation pressure” but I guess I let it rule over me for the past several weeks. Youtube has given me so many opportunities but I miss the care free me too. I can have fun again right? Why am I putting so much pressure on myself right?”
I find that I could relate to her so much in this post, except that I am not famous, I don’t earn much through blogging (except getting many free products) and I don’t make videos; I blog.
I used to blog excessively and having to update my life just one day after an event took place was so much so much more easier. I couldn’t comprehend that time why some people just cannot keep their blog updated. Because for me, blogging comes naturally. I love jotting down whatever that has happened to me and I like it that blogging is a way for me to unleash my emotions, whether I’m feeling happy or depress.
The content which I put up never bothered me that much since I know there’s only a handful of readers who read them.
I used to blog about trival little things that made me happy or upset.
Like how I spent an hour in the School’s newly open Starbucks, sipping my hot cocoa drink and chatting away with my pals.
How happy I felt when people appreciated my hardwork.
Or like posting pictures of the “photoshopped” me and laugh about it. (Yes, obviously the hair colour is photoshopped. lol.)
Or like how Prawn made me smile when he delivered sushi to my doorstep just because I was craving for it.
The special dancing dinosaur that Prawn got for me cos he found it cute. :>
Nowadays, I just felt that readers who come to my blog are no longer interested in reading these. Like come’on, who wants to read about where I go, what I do on a daily basis? Twitter is there for a purpose.
The things which I deliberately left out in my blog are the things that matter to me the most. Firstly, I don’t want to come across as being boastful of my current life, secondly I don’t want anybody to start worrying about me if I sound upset in my post, thirdly, these entries don’t seem to fit into my blog that well anymore and lastly, there are certain things which I just want to keep to myself and a few people around me, not with hundreds of people reading definitely.
All these seem unimportant to many people since these posts don’t provide useful information of any sort. But these are important memories for me, memories which I felt I no longer can write in my blog.
Having said that, I’m still thankful at how my blog turns out to be. All the amazing opportunities given to me if not for this current blog. All the like-minded friends I made through blogging. All the various media events I attended even though I’m no longer working in SPH. And of course, all the sponsorship I got from blogging. There are just so many perks through blogging but most importantly, I still want to share because I love to share and I’m happy to be able to get in touch with many girls who are just beginning to start taking care of their skin and body. I felt that I can have the power to change a lot of girls and improve in their self-esteem just like how I changed myself.
I’m just a little tired at times, having to think of topics to blog about constantly. Afterall, when a passion becomes a job, it’s enjoyable but equally stressful.
Maybe it’s time to slow down my pace a little and share the things I genuinely want to share.
If you have been a reader of mine since my secondary school days, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.